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Premarital Sex, Demystifying the
Festivity
by Katrina Lacey
A girl and her boyfriend have
talked about it repeatedly, thought about it constantly, debated
about it regularly, and they have decided that tonight is the
night. The mood is set; the lights are dimmed, candles are
flickering, romantic music serenades them softly. Everything
seems right. Or is it? He has done some research, she has talked
to her doctor, they have checked a few statistics online, and he
even has a condom but, is all this right? Today’s society has
utterly desensitized the true meaning and significance of sex.
Premarital sex has become a trend, another thing to do on a
Friday night. Even with all the advertisements and warnings
about STDs, the constant reminders of being a teenage mom, and
all the lessons on doing what is right and what is wrong
morally, teenagers and young adults are still subjecting
themselves to this feral life of premarital sex and sin. Having
sex before marriage affects these allegedly invincible teens
physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
The physical consequences of
premarital sex may be the greatest. The risk of getting
pregnant, being infected with a STD, or obtaining the HIV or
AIDS virus should be enough of a warning sign. According to
Erica Monasterio, a nurse practitioner and associate clinical
professor of adolescent medicine at the University of California
in San Francisco, "the teen years are the beginning of a girl's
most fertile time," (Forman 70). Therefore, the risk of getting
pregnant is notably high, higher than in a middle-aged woman.
These young women and men whom choose to have premarital sex are
putting themselves at risk, and the risk they are taking has
consequences that can radically change both lives. Teens who
think they are invincible to an unwanted pregnancy are entirely
wrong. Statistics show that four out of every ten girls in the
United States will get pregnant before they are 20, that is an
average of nine hundred thousand to 1 million teens per year, an
unbelievable amount (National 1). In addition to obtaining an
unwanted pregnancy, there is always the risk of contracting a
STD. One in five Americans obtain a penicillin resistant viral
STD, accounting for the three million new cases of STDs
teenagers contract a year (Encouraging 409). According to Linda
Alexander, Ph.D., president and CEO of the American Social
Health Association, ASHA, "one forth of [these] STDs occur in
15- 22 year olds,” (Forman 64). These STDs are transmittable,
deadly, and all have grim consequences.
In addition to
the physical consequences are the emotional penalties. These
penalties often haunt the individual and will remain for a
lifetime of distress. In an article about teen mothers, all
state that their lives will never be the same, and wish that
they would have thought a little more before they acted. One
teen mother, Nora Cadena, 18, from San Fernando, California says
that she “wish[es] [she] could just go to the movies on a whim
or play basketball like [she] used to,” (Marsa 103). She also
states that she is determined not to be another teen mom on the
road to nowhere. Of the teens polled by Seventeen Magazine,
a magazine for teenage girls, 36% regret the choices they made
to have pre-marital sex (Forman 63). After having sex, a
person’s personal value and dignity are destroyed. They begin to
be known not for who they are or their accomplishments, but for
what and who they do. With sex between two married individuals,
the sex is about giving, not taking. Teenagers who engage in
pre-marital sex choose to have sex for selfish reasons. It is
all about getting as much satisfaction as possible, and leaving
before there is a relationship to deal with. There is also
usually the confusion between sex and love. Teenagers cannot
decipher whether the feelings they are having are based on love,
or if they being wooed into a false security of alleged joy and
satisfaction. This emotional baggage has the ability to haunt an
individual for the rest of their life; it will weigh down their
heart, and disturb them psychologically forever.
Having premarital
sex not only disrupts members of modern society physically and
emotionally, but will also interfere with their spiritual lives
as well. The relationships individuals hold with God are ones
that are not meant to be broken. When a person makes the
decision to have premarital sex, he or she is disobeying the law
that our creator has sent forth. God does not want us to be
lustful. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, the apostle Paul tells the
world that “God wants [the world and its inhabitants] to be
holy, so [they] should keep clear of all sexual sin,” (Inductive
1373). The sexual sin Paul speaks of includes engaging in
pre-marital sex. God says that sex is a gift given to married
people only when he commands man to “share your love only with
your wife” (Inductive 764) in Proverbs 5: 15. God compares a
man’s sex life to a spring of water, asking the question of why
an individual would “spill the water of your springs in public,
having sex with just anyone?” (Inductive 764). These verses
directly command men and women to remain solely loyal and
sexually involved with the their husband or wife. When a person
disobeys these laws, their relationship with God is crushed.
They become lost in their spiritual walk, and lose their faith
all through one night of supposed bliss. God did not intend for
casual sex to become another thing to do on a Friday night, he
created it for pleasure, yes, but exclusively pleasure between
two married people.
Premarital sex –
just another thing to do on a Friday night – or is it? Selfish,
perplexing, convoluted, grim, and feral are all words to
describe this unintended way of life. Despite all of the risks:
pregnancy, STDs, HIV, AIDS, death, pain, grief, emotional
baggage, guilt, decreased self image and value, a child, and a
corrupted relationship with God, teenagers and young adults are
still participating in the act of pre-marital sex. This once
serious and sacred act has been diminished into a daily and mere
casual confrontation between two strangers. Do not let this
repulsive sin engulf modern society any longer. Choose to be
abstinent until marriage; it is the safest way to ensure
society’s physical, mental, and spiritual health.
This
article is copyrighted by the author. All Rights Reserved. No
part of this article may be reprinted without permission of the
author. ©Copyright 2003 |
