CREATING TRAILS OUT OF TRIALS
The Word of GOD is the Pathway to Victory
by Phylenia French
The silence hovered like a haunting spirit of despair. I could only say, "God, I need something." I felt disconnected. I couldn't put a name to my need. Just, "something."
It was the cold winter month of December. We had just this week buried my brother. He had died in his sleep. Drugs and alcohol robbed his life from him. I received the news of his sudden death while at work. After notifying my supervisor, I left in a state of numbness, unable to process the news I had received.
The ring of the telephone vibrated through the fog that had settled in my mind. It was one of my prayer partners calling to inquire about the Bible study on Saturday. Her pleasant voice broke the silence and brought me back to reality.
After hanging up the phone, I began to question, "How could I go on with a Bible study?" I was grieving. "Would I have the energy and repose I needed to lead a group of women?" In the planning stage, this had promised to be a joyful, holiday-spirited gathering complete with potluck dishes. I was confused.
A devotional reading led me to the book of Nehemiah chapter 8, verse 10. I read: Then he said to them, "Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet and send portions to those for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." (NKJV) These verses gripped me.
The women's Bible study and fellowship time scheduled at my house in just a few days would require spiritual and emotional strength I felt I was being drained of at this moment, but I was encouraged and strengthened by the power of God's Word.
On Friday, the day before the women's meeting, I received a phone call from a former neighbor asking if I would come to her house. There was a sound of desperation in her voice and I surmised that something was amiss with her. My husband and I drove to her house and discovered that, indeed, there was a problem.
Her behavior was not rational because she spoke with a fearful, suspicious tone as she told us there were people spying on her. She even asked my husband to change the lock on her front entryway. Once her initial crisis was over, and we felt assured she could be alone, we returned home. Before the weekend was over we had to make another visit to her house, but through contact with a mutual friend, we learned that her children had been made aware of her circumstances and were coming in to attend to her needs. Consequently, she was hospitalized and was diagnosed with a severe thyroid imbalance.
I am in awe at the means God uses to help us through a time of grief. In times passed I have found that He will draw me away to attend to someone else's need while I am experiencing a personal trial.
A number of years ago, it seemed as if the Lord had personally given to me the scripture in Isaiah 58, which describes the true fast. Verse 6 reads, "Is this not the fast that I have chosen: to loose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free. And that you break every yoke? Verse 8 continues with, Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily. And your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard. (NKJV) Again, I received strength from the Word.
In January, the month following these events, my mother in-law who had been treated for lung cancer, was diagnosed with brain metastasis, which eventually claimed her life. During one of her hospitalizations, a blizzard fell in the area, causing major highways to be closed, preventing our travel to visit her.
As I sat looking outside the window, calculating the depth and weight of the snow blanketing the earth, I couldn't help but compare it with the heaviness I felt in my spirit. The emotional turmoil of seeing a loved one suffer so soon after losing a sibling to the swift and unexpected cold grip of death, threatens to overwhelm you. Five years previously I had lost a sister to death. Working through that grief process had been extremely slow for our family. In fact, it was around the time of my brother's death that I believed we had finally learned to cope with her loss, only to be emotionally shattered again!
I began to think of the powerful oak trees, which, when exposed to storms powerful enough to topple them, they just cast their roots deeper into the earth. I needed to choose how I would respond to my circumstances. I would endeavor to be like that tree when the storms of life are hurled against me. The foundation of my faith is rooted deep within the Word of God; therefore I will send the roots of my faith deeper in to the Word that I may be strengthened by His power.
I am convinced that the Lord is teaching me to make trails out of my trials as I read the passage from Jeremiah chapter 31 and verses 21 and 25 : Set up signposts, Make landmarks; Set your heart toward the highway, The way in which you went---- "For I have satiated the weary soul and I have replenished every sorrowful soul." (NKJV)
At unexpected moments, I still experience waves of grief where tears flow like a breached dam, but I realize my Heavenly Father will continue to be there in those times just as He has always been. The Holy Spirit has been my Comforter through these experiences and just as I have been comforted, I know I am to comfort others through sharing.
I rejoice that I can proclaim with the writer of Psalms 66 verses 16 and 20: Come and hear all you who fear God and I will declare what He has done for my soul. Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer or His mercy from me! (NKJV)
Original copyright 1999, Phylenia French
Revised 2000