Rat Pack crooner Frank Sinatra sang it. Elvis sang it again. They wanted everyone to know, “I Did It My Way.” Our society is well versed in the mindset—if not the song of past years—that clamors for self-rule. More than a desire for individual choice, we can see selfishness thriving among
the masses. One symptom of selfishness can be seen in America’s busy divorce courts. Who will deny that so many people are entering into marriages with little thought of commitment, and breaking up with little regard to the consequences? It is typified by one young girl’s statement as to why Mom left Dad:
“Mama’s got to be happy.” Our Lord stated,
…Have ye not read, that he who made (them) from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh? 6 So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath
joined together, let not man put asunder (Matt. 19:4-6).
Marriage is a bond recognized not only by the bride and groom, but also by Almighty God. Divorce is not to be a light-hearted affair. Jesus allows divorce and remarriage (remarriage for the innocent party) for just one reason (Matt. 19:9), but we are not discussing that in this article. We’re
here centering in on the divorce of selfishness. “The “I want it!” divorce. The fact is that God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16). It is not the primrose path to “freedom from the shackles of matrimonial prison” portrayed by a carefree and immature society. Divorce means that sin has occurred on the part of
at least one party to the marriage. Hollywood’s mentality of quick marriages (and almost as quick divorces) serves as a poor but accepted role model to those who have “fallen out of love.” Some must really think that there is no effort to be expended in marriage, no investment of care, concern, time, and prayer.
Some spouses have the sense of humor of a timber rattler. Learn to laugh and smile—it really will not break your face. It will brighten the home. Look for happiness in marriage and you’ll be more apt to find it. Key ingredients for a happy marriage are too often neglected: humility, forgiveness, perseverance, and
absolute adherence to God’s word as the final authority. For the childish, it is easier to say, “Let’s split—you take the cat and the bills. I’ve got the dog and my freedom.” A husband and wife have responsibilities set forth by God to each other, and no court decree can change that.
Wives, (be in subjection) unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the church, (being) himself the saviour of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so (let) the wives also (be) to their husbands in everything. 25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; 26 that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, 27 that he might present the church to himself a glorious (church), not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be
holy and without blemish. 28 Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: 29 for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church; 30 because we are members of his body. 31 For this cause shall a man
leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of Christ and of the church. 33 Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and (let) the wife (see) that she fear her husband.”
If a husband or a wife is so juvenile and selfish as to leave the other and go in search of the blue bird of happiness, then understand there will be consequences. These two will not be the only ones to suffer. George Barna quoted one woman’s honest assessment:
“Probably the worst part of this whole ordeal has been what it has done to my kids,” said a woman who walked away from her husband two years earlier. “I don’t know what the long-term effects will be, but they aren’t going to be positive” (George Barna, The Future of the American Family,
p. 84).
You will not tamper with God’s plan for the home without someone being wounded. And the elusive blue bird of happiness may turn out to be the ominous vulture of death and sorrow. Grow up! Think about others. Consider your influence. Consider the brevity of life. Consider the future of those you
claim you love! If both parties are spiritually mature, they recognize two fundamental facts:
- We’re in this marriage bond until death parts us!
- There are no issues between us that are insurmountable.
Do not be a selfish husband or wife (Phil. 2:1-4). Cherish your mate. Work hard at making your marriage a success. Put the Lord first in every aspect of life. Look to the needs of others in your home before yourself. Pray fervently and frequently for your family. Do these things and enjoy the
blessings that come from a happy marriage.
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