If you've never experienced fatigue, you can't
understand how debilitating it is. It's not the
exhilarating tired you feel as you relax in a hot tub
after aerobic exercising. Neither is it the contented
tired you feel as you sip lemonade on the porch swing
after gardening all day. It's more of a crash and burn,
hit-the-wall, feel like you're dead or dying exhaustion.
I imagine it's the way the coyote feels who not only
chased the roadrunner all day but was also pulled
through a wringer, hurled off a cliff, blown up with
dynamite, run over by a truck, squeezed through a
knothole, and then had an Acme safe dropped on his head
-- all before lunch.
Exhaustion is that burn out toddlers experience when
they've skipped their afternoon nap. I can relate when I
see a two year old in a shopping mall throw himself to
the floor sobbing. There are days I feel like doing
that, only I lack the energy required to cry.
The worst thing about chronic fatigue is that
even after a full night's sleep, I still don't feel
refreshed. Most mornings I awake just as tired as I was
when I went to bed the night before, and I go downhill
from there. Fatigue is like a thirst that is never
quenched or a hunger that's not satisfied. I rarely get
"enough" rest.
Though I've had to cope with
weakness and fatigue for years, it still frustrates me.
I get angry when the most strenuous activity I can
accomplish is breathing in place. And I hate having to
cancel outings at the last minute because I need a crane
to lift my body off the couch. It's infuriating that I
can be perky and ambitious one day while the next day I
need toothpicks to hold my eyes open, and I'm worn out
just from dialing long distance. All this got me so
upset recently that I decided to do something about it.
So I started and
complaining. That not only didn't help the situation,
but focusing on the negative made me feel even more
miserable.
Then I found this
passage in the Bible about weariness. Isaiah 40:29 says
that God gives strength to the weary and increases the
power of the weak. It explains that those who hope in
the Lord will renew their strength, run without growing
weary, and soar on wings like eagles. Hmmm. I don't feel
strong or powerful. I certainly don't soar, and I can't
remember when I ran last. Some days it takes all the
energy I can muster just to move from lying to a sitting
position. So what gives? Where's all this power that the
Bible promises?
Here's a hint: God's not
promising literal physical strength; but I'll bet you
knew that already. In His perfect will, He knows what we
really need and that's INNER strength.
And guess what. The best
way to develop strength within is to deal with problems
without – problems like physical ailments and fatigue.
They may wear down the body, but they can build up the
spiritual muscles which I call "struggle muscles." When
God gives strength to the weary, it may be in the form
of greater faith. We may not run faster, jump higher, or
leap tall buildings in a single bound; but we can likely
feel our hope and our relationship with Him grow
stronger.
In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul
wrote about being physically persecuted, hard pressed,
perplexed, and struck down, yet he was not crushed,
destroyed, or in despair.
In the same way, even though
my body isn't satisfied and renewed by physical rest, my
soul is satisfied by God and He revives my weary spirit
with spiritual strength.
Farther on in 2 Corinthians, in chapter 11, Paul
lists some of his hardships which included being beaten
with rods, shipwrecked, stoned, imprisoned, flogged
repeatedly, and deprived of food, water, and sleep. He'd
been naked, cold and afflicted with a "thorn" in his
flesh. Even so, he could say he delighted in his
weakness, hardships, and difficulties. He explained that
God's grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect
in weakness. Paul wrote, "when I am weak, then I am
strong."
So now I've (tried to) replace my whining "Why me"
attitude with a more submissive "Whatever you want for
me, Lord." With that new perspective, I still hope for
the best; but I also prepare for the worst. And then I
accept whatever God sends.
Though I am weak and tired, I can be strong in His
power.
